


The One Where They're Both Idiots

by dumbinch



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: ? I think, Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, F/M, Hand Jobs, bffs jookyun, but they both got the hots for each other lbr, hhhhhh i don't know what else to put whoops, i mean it was kinda on purpose but whatever, no actual drugs i swear, penis pills? boner pills? drugs??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-25 23:38:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17734853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbinch/pseuds/dumbinch
Summary: Best friends Jooheon and Changkyun take boner pills because they're Best Bros. That's literally it.





	The One Where They're Both Idiots

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh hair is their newest ones, ya know from the idol room teaser thing

“Dude, do you wanna pop a penis pill right now?”

Jooheon had never thought he would ever hear those words come out of his best friend’s mouth, but if Changkyun was anything it was unpredictable.

The two were on the way to their friend Kihyun’s apartment, which almost always means that they, along with several of their other friends, planned on getting blackout drunk and relying on Kihyun to feed them and nurse them back to health in the morning- that’s what he gets for being the ‘responsible’ friend. It was their turn to pick up the drinks this time, and Changkyun insisted on grabbing as much vodka as his toothpick arms could carry, but not before stopping at the small shelf displaying multiple colorful tablets labeled things like, “Anaconda,” or “Rhino Big Horn,” or the classic “Stiff Nights.” Between Changkyun’s fingers, he waved a plastic sleeve of two green pills with the name “Power Zone” printed on the top of a picture of a couple in a very sensual position.

“No, no- not really,” he chuckles, expecting Changkyun to just be messing around and hopefully drop the joke as soon as possible. Jooheon had enough problems keeping a boner down around him, and adding pills to the mix would make it damn near impossible.

“Wow, and I thought we were friends.” Changkyun whips back around and tosses the pills into their cart. “I wanna try them so we’re getting them anyways.”

Jooheon’s eyes bulge out of his head. “God, why?”

Changkyun looks over his shoulder and smirks. “For science my sweet, sweet summer child.” His newly blond hair and eyebrow piercing peek out from under the hood of his sweatshirt, and all Jooheon can think of is how dangerous he looks.

This has ‘bad idea’ written all over it, but Jooheon has never been able to say no- he’s a weak man, at least for Changkyun.

He continues to follow Changkyun around the store as he throws stuff into the cart, folding himself over the top of the cart in boredom. Jooheon crowds behind him, placing his hands on either side of Changkyun’s hips and gripping the handle, pushing the cart towards the cash register. Changkyun, being the drama queen he is, went limp, making his feet drag against the dirty tile as the other pushed the cart forward. When they finally make it to the cashier, the leathery old man pays them no mind, just scanning the bottles as they place them on the counter and minding his own business. He scans the last of the liquor and picks up the plastic baggy, looking up at the two boys who currently are disregarding the concept of personal space; the taller one’s chin hooked over the shorter one’s shoulder, hands inside the other’s sweatshirt pocket, and laughing at something they said. He decides not to comment on it just yet and puts the pills in the sack along with their drinks, asking for ID. The brunette pulls out his driver’s license along with his card and hands them to the man behind the counter. After a moment, he hands back both and a receipt, receiving a quiet “Thanks” from the brunette.

“I hope you too have a good night,” he winks knowingly. “Those pills really do work wonders, trust me.”

Completely mortified, Jooheon takes the sacks and shoves Changkyun out the door before he can respond to the old man. They walk in silence back to the car. When they put the bags in the back and settle into the seats, they look at each other before cracking up. Jooheon is absolutely _howling_ and Changkyun has his head thrown back in an ugly cackle. After several minutes, the laughter finally dies down into a few chuckles, and instantly the blond perks up again.

“Hey, do you wanna take them now or later?”

Jooheon fumbles for his keys to start the car. “Wait, you were being serious?”

“Of course I was being serious!”

“I-” Jooheon starts. He thinks for a second before replying. “At least let me read the packaging first,” he sighs.

Changkyun squeals in delight and reaches to the back seat to get the pills. He puts his knee onto the armrest to dig into the bag and Jooheon watches as his hoodie raises up and shows a sliver of skin above his boxers, revealing a slight happy trail and a hint of back dimples.

“God,” he mumbles and slams his head against the steering wheel. He finally starts the car and sits back, waiting for the other.

Changkyun comes back to his seat red-faced and swinging the bag in front of Jooheon like a matador would wave a red flag in front of a bull. He snags it away from the other and reads the instructions.

“It says it takes twenty minutes to kick in…”

“That’s just enough time to pick up Hyungwon and get to Ki’s!” the blond says excitedly. He takes the bag back and empties the contents into his palm, handing one pill to Jooheon. Holding his pill between his fingers, he looked the other directly in the eyes. “We’re doing this for science.”

Jooheon looks at his pill and chuckles awkwardly. “Why is the mood so weird?” He bites his lip and looks up at his friends. “I don’t do any of this bad stuff, I don’t want this to make me look like a weirdo, or a creep or something.”

“It’s not gonna make you look like a weirdo, it’s just gonna look like we banged after this.”

Jooheon blinked and quickly popped the pill into his mouth. “WHOA, wait, I wanted to take them together!” Changkyun whines. “Don’t swallow yet.” He then also puts his pill on his tongue.

“Okay, three, two, one, swallow.”

The two gulp at the same time, looking at each other from the corner of their eyes.

Changkyun starts giggling nervously. “Oh no…”

“Yeah, oh no, dude we just took boner pills.” Jooheon throws his head against the headrest.

“SIKE! I’m kidding, I didn’t swallow mine,” Changkyun says, fingers reaching into his mouth. Jooheon’s whips his head towards the other, eyes wide. “No, I’m kidding! I did swallow, look.”

Changkyun opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue, making an ‘ahh’ sound.

Jooheon turns away from him and blushes slightly. He finally puts the car in drive and leaves the parking lot. They drive in silence for a few minutes until Changkyun looks over at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asks as if they didn’t just take liquor store Viagra together.

Jooheon frowns, stomach slowly forming knots. “I can’t believe we did that… we have shit to do, Kyunnie. We’re gonna see our friends in less than half an hour, how are we supposed to explain why we walk into Ki’s place with raging hard-ons?”

They settle back into silence. Changkyun fiddles with the holes in his jeans while gnawing on his lower lip. “I’m sorry hyung…”

Jooheon sees his mood sinking and sighs, putting a hand on the other’s knee. “It’s fine, we’ll figure it out...if anything they’ll just wonder how I grew a third leg.”

Changkyun smiles again. He starts giggling again, and Jooheon felt his stomach grow a little more at ease.

They drive for a few more minutes before arriving at Hyungwon’s apartment and pull up to the curb where they see the skinny man standing with folded arms and an unhappy look.

“What the hell took you guys so long?” he grumbled as he stumbled into the back seat.

“We got distracted-”

“We took a couple boner pills!” Changkyun laughs.

Hyungwon’s face twists in confusion. “Wait, you guys took boner pills? Like together?” The two nodded. “ _Why_ would you guys take them together?”

“Because we’re best friends!”

“Kyun, this was supposed to be the best night of my life, and he’s just messing it up!” Jooheon huffs in fake anger but it soon dissipates into giggles.

“We took boner pills, but we don’t feel horny or anything- we just feel _good_.” At that, the two start cracking up again while Hyungwon still sits behind them, thoroughly confused.

After ten more minutes of boner-related jokes, they finally get to Kihyun’s apartment. They take the bags and trek up the stairs and into the building, walking past the lobby and into the elevator. Jooheon presses the button for Kihyun’s floor, the eleventh, and prepares to wait for the old death trap to start moving. The elevator ride seems to take longer than usual, and Jooheon starts to feel slightly uncomfortable. He feels a little hot like his clothes are sticking to his skin, and he looks over at Changkyun who still somehow looks pretty normal. Well, better than normal- he looks downright _delicious_ : his sloped nose that leads down to his cute pink lips and sharp jawline, his sweatshirt’s collar falling just below his clavicle, showing off just a hint of his honey-like skin, his tight jeans hugging his thighs and his as-

“Hey, hyung are you okay?” Changkyun asks, looking at him worriedly.

“Yeah Joo, you look a little red.”

Jooheon’s mouth feels like the Sahara. “I think the pills kicked in.” He looks up and away from Changkyun, hoping that he won’t notice the tightness in his pants.

“Oh my god! You have a boner!” Changkyun laughs. “I can’t believe it worked!”

The elevator door finally opens and Jooheon exits with a huff, moving his bag in front of his crotch. “Yeah, it feels really good to have someone laugh at your dick,” he says sarcastically.

Changkyun is hot on his tail down the hallway. “Honey-hyung, I’m sorry. I promise I won’t laugh at it anymore.” He pouts slightly and tugs at Jooheon’s sleeve. “You can always laugh at mine when it happens.”

“God, this is such a weird ass conversation, I wish I didn’t have to hear it.” Hyungwon cuts in front of both of them and they finally make it to Kihyun’s door. After one knock, it swings open dramatically.

“What the hell took you guys so long?” Kihyun demanded. “We’ve been here for almost an hour with no booze.”

Hyungwon pushes past him and walks into his apartment. “Please, just don’t ask.”

Hyunwoo comes up to the door and politely asks if he could take the bags to the kitchen and while Changkyun handed his over immediately, Jooheon refused, needing something- _anything_ to hide his painfully obvious erection. He follows Hyunwoo to set down the drinks but then realizes that he has nothing to cover himself now. He sees Changkyun sitting comfortably on the couch and pulls his shirt down over his crotch before scurrying to the seat beside the other, hoping no one will notice him. Jooheon plops down and quickly grabs a throw pillow to put on his lap as nonchalantly as he possibly could. He still can’t quite figure out how Changkyun is so unaffected by the pill. Had he really not taken it and let him believe he did? Did he lie to him?

His train of thought was abruptly stopped when he felt a hand on his knee, a thumb rubbing slow circles. The same hand traveled a little farther north, landing mid-thigh and squeezing slightly. Jooheon’s eyes trailed the hand to the owner and was almost surprised to see Changkyun subtly trying to feel him up while in a conversation Minhyuk. He reached from under the pillow to meet the other’s hand, gently grabbing it and bringing it up further to place on his dick. Changkyun got the message and cupped him through his pants, receiving a quiet hiss from the other. He started stroking him lightly through his joggers, all while he was talking with Minhyuk. If Minhyuk saw anything, he did a good job of ignoring it. Changkyun continued his movements for a few minutes and suddenly got brave, leaning back into the couch and crossing his legs while he swiftly dipped his hands into the other’s pants and wrapped his hand around his cock. Jooheon’s breath hitched as Changkyun’s hand traveled to his head and back down to the base, creating a slow, tortuous speed. Changkyun was still somehow unfazed by his own actions seeing as his chat with Minhyuk had not faltered. Jooheon turned away from the two, becoming immensely interested in whatever Hyunwon, Hyunwoo, and Hoseok were talking about. If Hyunwoo and Hoseok saw anything, they also did a good job ignoring it- but Hyungwon did not.

“Oh Jesus tits, are you two really jerking each other off right now? In front of us? Do you have no damn shame?”

“What?” Kihyun yelled. “On _my_ couch?

“Wait why-”

“These two dumbasses decided to boner pills together.”

“Okay,” Hyunwoo starts, “but why?”

Changkyun whines. “It was for science, hyung, I promise.” Jooheon decided that subtly was for the weak and reached under the other, harshly grabbing his ass. Changkyun whined again.

“Please, for the love of all things holy, just let them use your guest room.”

“No! God no! Go fuck in your car, anywhere, just not my conservative home.”

Hyunwoo laughs. “C’mon Ki, they look like they won’t get past the elevator. Just let them have the room.”

“No, I don’t care how horny you are or how good of friends we are, not in my house.” Everything is quiet except for Jooheon’s heavy breathing.

“Yeah I don’t think they’d even make it to the elevators, they’d probably end up fucking on your kitchen table, Ki,” Minhyuk chimed in.

"...fine!”

At that, Jooheon leaped up from the couch and pulled Changkyun with him, erections painfully obvious, and dragged him towards the door of the guest room. He pushed the younger through the doorway and followed behind him before slamming the door closed. The door quickly opened again only for his head to pop out, throwing Kihyun a pleading look.

“Bedside table, second drawer,” Kihyun yelled out as he hunched over, head in his hands. Hyunwoo rubbed his back in attempts to soothe the other man.

Jooheon quickly thanked him before closing the door again and turning towards the bed where Changkyun had spread out with his hoodie hitched up to his chest, exposing his tan tummy and his unbuttoned jeans. He slowly approached him, watching the other’s breathing become shallower, and climbed on the bed before settling between his thighs. Changkyun responded by hooking a leg over the other’s hip and roughly grabbing his nape, pushing their faces together until they were breathing each other’s air.

“Let’s finish what we started, yeah?”

-

“C’mon Ki, let’s give them some privacy.”

Kihyun’s head snaps up. “Privacy? Privacy? They’re fucking in _my_ house!”

Hoseok puts a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, why don’t we go get some food, I’m sure they’ll be done in an hour.”

A loud moan escapes through the crack under the bedroom door.

“Okay, we’ll give them two just in case.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is my first work here and i just want to deeply apologize!!! my bad!!! also this is sorta based off a david dobrik video
> 
> i might do another part of this but it'll probably end up just being porn so... who knows!


End file.
